Only Girl in the World
by MikeJaffa
Summary: Beka has something on her mind during the series finale.


TITLE: Only Girl in the World  
AUTHOR: MikeJaffa  
SUMMARY: Something is on Beka's mind during the series finale  
DISCLAIMER: I own neither the rights to GENE RODDENBERRY'S ANDROMEDA nor the rights to the lyrics for Rhianna's "Only Girl in the World." I am using both without permission and making no money off this. Please don't sue me.  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So you're probably thinking, "Mike's heard 'Only Girl' on the radio and thought of a Harper Rommie fic" Well, I did hear "Only Girl." But I wanted to challenge myself and do something other than Harper and Rommie. I hope I've succeeded.

/  
/

Funny how life works out, isn't it?

We're walking from the conference room to Command. We just had this little vote over whether to stay in this one big fight to save the Commonwealth. Harper was all gung ho after watching Earth blow up. Rommie just said, "I'm a war ship," and you said, "I'll take that as a yes." (That's what I love about her - such a natural, uncompromising scrapper. What you see is what you get as she knocks your teeth out. Or blows up your planet. Which for her is the same thing.)

I pointed out that it was hopeless, but "on the other hand," what had we been fighting for? So I was in. Doyle was the last hold out, but she looked in Harper's eyes and agreed. You gave everyone their marching orders and told me you needed me on command.

You … *needed* …. Me.

"Seems like old times," I say as we walk along.

"You said that with a smile," you answer.

"I'm feeling nostalgic."

"One day we'll all look back on this and giggle."

"It has been quite a ride," I say, and that gets to what has been eating at me.

I'm not really worried about this fight, even though this is IT, the big one. We lose, that's the end: The Commonwealth, the known worlds, everything I've ever known, all gone. We win, we win big. The Commonwealth could give you everything you want. Anything you want.

It's that last possibility that bothers me. I can feel the change in the air. It feels like something that started five years ago is coming to an end, and I don't know if I can face that.

_I want you to love me, like I'm a hot pie_  
_Keep thinkin' of me, doin' what you like_  
_So boy forget about the world cause it's gon' be me and you tonight_  
_I wanna make your bed for ya, then I'm a make you swallow your pride_

When I met you, I wasn't thinking about a cause or anything like that. I was thinking about his almost-too-good-to-be-true pay day Gerentix had promised us. I would be able to clear my debts and maybe fix up the *Maru.* But I also knew that there would be an ending, too. Harper would take his share and split for some place with slave girls and silk wall hanging. Rev had been corresponding with some heavy duty Wayists. Trance, my enigmatic-then-purple good luck charm? Don't ask. But she'd been taking more and more field trips lately.

It felt like the crew I had assembled was going its separate ways soon. We'd win big, and that would be that. I was almost relieved when the first few leads we checked didn't pan out. But then we got to the black hole, and there she was, the *Andromeda Ascendant.* It was weird, like she had been waiting for us. The we went aboard …. And that's when we found you. When I found you.

I also met Tyr then. If I knew then …. Nah, I'd have done the same thing. Never mind. Back to when we found you. And all that running around. Right from the first moment I saw you, I wondered if it was right for me to be there. Harper had said you were the captain. How would I feel if someone tried to take the *Maru* out from under me? And you were a trained soldier, fighting a guerilla war on your own turf (although I didn't think of it that way at the time. I have you to thank for that.) You took out Tyr's mercs and ran rings around us. Then you got us to help you blow up a black hole. Gerentix got away in the *Maru* but you said you'd help get her back on one condition. 'Yeah, right,' I thought. Had a hunch I knew what you wanted. But I agreed ….. And wondered later why you wanted to see us all on the obs deck. What the - an orgy!? Nope, you had a job offer. You wanted to restore the Commonwealth. Just like that. I wondered if you were kidding. You, a high guard ship, and a rag-tag crew, were going to make history. You said it like it was nothing. Like it was in your day planner: 'Breakfast, restore half of Commonwealth, lunch, restore other half, nap, keep Andromeda from killing Harper.' No biggie.

Everyone else went along with it; I was the last hold out. But I agreed.

And just like that, I was the new first officer of the *Andromeda Ascendant.*

Just like that, I was working for you.

_Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world_  
_Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love_  
_Like I'm the only one who knows your heart_  
_Only girl in the world..._

Like I'm the only one that's in command  
Cause I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man

I will be the first to admit I was a pain in the ass. It's a Valentine thing. But it's also in the regs which, believe it or not, I stayed up one night to read cover to cover. It seemed to say I was supposed to be a pain in the ass …. But with saluting.

Oops. That's the part that always gets me.

When I think of all the fights we've been through, I wonder how we made it through that first tangle with what turned out to be a Restorian ship. And you were visibly mad when you had me walk down the corridor with you and yell at me about arguing with you in front of the crew. Sorry, MY crew. In fact, I thought you would get us killed. Really. But I still watched your back even as Tyr conspired against you. I wanted to see how you'd play this out. And you got us out of it.

Funny how everything after that became easy. The fights became a pattern, routine; I sometimes wonder if we'd wake up one day on Command with a screen filled with wreckage and realize we'd fought off a Drago Kasov battle group in our sleep! (And given some of the weirdness, that wasn't impossible.) You went from micromanaging my course changes to saying "Beka! Get us out of here!" For a while I felt disposable, but then I realized there was faith behind that: 'I know you can get us out of this. Just do it!' And you loosened up a little, too. And maybe I tightened a teensy weensy bit. Enough to go from being skeptical of the Commonwealth to wanting to protect it. I was there for you, watching your back. And you ….. You were there for me. And you didn't even know it.

_Want you to take me like a thief in the night_  
_Hold me like a pillow, make me feel right_  
_Baby I'll tell you all my secrets that I'm keepin', you can come inside_  
_And when you enter, you ain't leavin', be my prisoner for the night_

It wasn't just like that time when you had Andromeda detox me when I took flash. Or the times we saved each other's butts in fire fights. It's because I knew where I would have *really* ended up if I hadn't met you, or if we'd killed you and sold off the *Andromeda* as planned. And it wasn't a good place (even forgetting that Harper would have died of Triangulum Measles if we hadn't found you). I'd seen a lot of spacers come to bad ends, and I'd told myself that wouldn't be me. But I was kidding myself. I know the road I had been on, and I knew where it ended. Just by taking on a broken down freighter with a dodgy captain, you saved me. And if I had the guts to actually use the words, I'd say I love you for it.

Wasn't always smooth sailing, and I argued about things with you lot, but got the hang of it. And those walks down the corridors did take some pounds off (thank you for never saying anything about my butt). But then you got us mixed up with Arkology, and you wanted to help those poor people escape the Magog World Ship. And I thought that was nuts. I couldn't be a part of that because I didn't want to die.

I had to go. And that was the hardest thing.

I think of all the loser boyfriends I kicked out, even Bobby, and you'd think was firing an accountant for all the tears I didn't shed over any of them. But the thought of leaving you behind made me cry. I tried to believe that wasn't it but it was. And when you came to say goodbye to me on the *Maru* - you'd hardly ever said "goodbye" to any of your many girlfriends, but with me you made the effort - I was thinking the whole time, 'Please don't cry, Dylan. If you cry, I'll break down and I won't be able to go.' You didn't cry. You promised you would see me again, kissed my hand (the only time you've ever kissed me), and left.

I told myself "Good riddance." I told myself no more causes. I told myself your luck had finally run out and I was glad I wasn't there. I told myself a lot of things through the first two slipstream jumps. But I could not make the third one for the express lane to El Dorado drift. Could. Not. Do. It. I was physically unable to do it. My thumb was on the stud to fire the slipstream drive and it could not move.

I had to go back. Right back into the fire …. Which had engulfed the frying pan, too. You were in a slip fighter and I said, "How's every little thing?" Hey, howya doin', nice day for the end of the world, eh? Another day at the office. I went back to get Harper and Rhade. Or try to. And you radioed that you couldn't help.

And then the Magog.

And then …. Someplace else.

_Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world_  
_Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love_  
_Like I'm the only one who knows your heart_  
_Only girl in the world..._

Like I'm the only one that's in command  
Cause I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man

I had plenty of time to think as I ran out of food and water on the *Maru.* Then I stumbled on the *Andromeda,* only to find her completely fried. And then *I* was found by a boarding party. I was in exactly the fix you were in when I met you. Only something in me snapped. I didn't think about the universe. I didn't think about making things better for others. I decided to think about ME for the first time in a long time. No more causes. No more getting you out of here, wherever "here" is. And when you showed up again like as bad penny, I hauled at you and told you how disposable you made me feel.

Sounded good didn't it?

Of course, another rabbit came out of your hat, and you not only saved yourself but freed Trance, gave Andromeda a little juice, and it looked like Rhade was back in the fold.

Only I wouldn't have it. Not this time. Seefra was the perfect place for a bad girl to stop pretending to be good and be bad. I told myself that whatever you did, I had done my bit. You'd almost gotten me killed once and I wasn't going to let you do it again. I wouldn't try to hurt you and Andromeda - you were still my friends - but tilting at windmills was your gig, not mine.

I told myself a lot of things.

But you kept getting me into these little missions. I told myself I'd only help if I got something out of it. And I kept hanging out with you and the others at the Oasis, Harper's bar (! Harper owning a bar, like a fat guy owning a bakery. Who saw that coming?), and getting into trouble. I didn't have to be there. Didn't want to be there. So how come every time I put down on Seefra One …. I was there!? (Other than the free drinks Harper gave me, of course.)

And then …. Leave it to you - or your future self - I'm already getting a headache thinking about it - to have this complicated, convoluted, headache inducing uber weird plan to make us all realize we were your crew. Or remind us we had been all along but got a little lost. 'Cause it made me realize I don't ever want this ride to end: Racing through the slipstream with you so fast I could scream, putting in my sarcastic two thrones' worth as you tilt at another universe-ending windmill and wondering how you got us out of it AGAIN. Some would say I'm out of my mind, or that I should stand up to you, or that I shouldn't put up with being your second banana. But there are worse things than riding shotgun for you. Far worse. I can't complain if you keep me away from that. The question is …. Will you?

_Take me for a ride_  
_Oh baby, take me high_  
_Let me make you first_  
_Oh make it last all night_

See, here's what's been gnawing at me all these years: The idea that you recruited me because there was no one else. Seriously. No Commonwealth to check in with. No High Guard to resupply the *Andromeda* and give you a new crew. Just a broken down freighter, a captain with a checkered past, and a handful of losers you never would have trusted in the old days. You didn't just need us. We were the only people you knew at the time, the only ones you could turn to, and sometimes I think that when you made that speech, I saw the tiniest hint of desperation in your eyes, this 'Oh, God, I hope this works out,' behind the confidence and optimism.

And it has worked out, I have to admit.

But if you win this time - save the Commonwealth, Tarn Vedra, the Known Worlds; and stop the Abyss, all at once, you win BIG. The biggest ever. And for a while anyway, the Commonwealth will be able to give you anything you want. Andromeda's hangars will be filled with fighters, bombers, and transport shuttles. Her corridors will be filled with officers and crew each bringing their own supply of spit and polish. No need for a broken down freighter. No need for a captain with a checkered past. Oh, you wouldn't just dump me. I'd get a medal and send off and the thanks of the Commonwealth and watch the *Andromeda* leave without me.

And I can't bear that thought.

I decide the only thing to do is to borrow from your play book and force the issue. I have to, or it'll drive me crazy!

I stop in my tracks at the last bend before Command and hope my smile keeps my heart from jumping out of my throat.

"Dylan?" I say.

You stop. "Yeah?"

"Promise me something."

"You got it."

I could kiss you at that point. You don't even know what I'm thinking and you're going to deliver without hesitation. Like it's in your day planner: 'Breakfast. Save half of universe. Lunch. Save other half. Nap. Give Beka whatever she wants sight unseen.' That's awesome.

"If we get out of this," I say, "we'll always ride together."

Your smile vanishes and my blood freezes. Then you put your hands on my shoulders and say the words that I'll remember for the rest of my life:

"Beka. You were my first friend on this journey. And I promise you, you will be my last."

I manage to contain my reaction, but I couldn't have been happier if you'd asked me to marry you. (And maybe, in a sense, you just did.)

_Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world_  
_Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love_  
_Like I'm the only one who knows your heart_  
_Only girl in the world..._

_Like I'm the only one that's in command_  
_Cause I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man_

_Only girl in the world, girl in the world_

Then we're back on our way to Command for the biggest fight of our lives, but I'm not worried about it. I can feel the change in the air. It feels like something that started five years ago is ending, but that's just chapter one; if you get us out of this, our story will continue, even if the big fights are over and no one pays attention anymore. This ride will never end: Racing through the slipstream with you so fast I could scream, putting in my sarcastic two thrones' worth as you tilt at another universe-ending windmill and wondering how you got us out of it AGAIN. And when your luck finally runs out and you go down in flames, I'll be right there with you, laughing at the devil and asking him if that's all he's got. And your last act will be to roll your eyes and tell me I should show some respect to the nice hell spawn who's killing us.

And I'll love you for that. And everything that's lead up to it.

Some would say I'm out of my mind, or that I should stand up to you, or that I shouldn't put up with being your second banana. Hell, I would have told myself that five years ago, especially given all the times I thought it best to leave you. It's taken me this long to realize how right this is, and that there's no place I'd rather be, and that there's no one I'd rather be with.

And every time you bark, "Beka! Get us out of here!" I'll know you feel the same way, too.

Funny how life works out, isn't it?

(NOT NECESSARILY) THE END


End file.
